Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Healthy Food

Last week's Show and Tell was bring in a healthy food. Thomas' mom sent in a juice pouch for everyone in class. Literally a small plastic bag with a straw. It looked like apple juice and it had what seemed to be a fall motif on the front of it. Upon closer inspection it had apples, oranges, grapes, pumpkin and onion on it. Yes, each of those things were part of the flavor. No, it did not taste very good. Yes, the kids seemed to like it.

Monday, May 25, 2009

What a lovely Weekend

Friday: K-pop concert

Saturday: a great girls movie night

Sunday: Seoul Hiking Group
A Korean guy by the name of Warren organizes hikes for expats. I had been meaning to do another hike like this for a long long time..... a great cap to a wonderful weekend.

side note: at the end of the hike we stopped for dinner and by the time we were heading home the sun was down and we were feeling very damp and cold. Megan and I bought matching wind breakers so we wouldn't freeze on the subway. As I tried mine on, the Korean salesman with good English helped me. As he zipped it up for me I said "Oh, perfect" and he said "perfect body." Hilarious.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Rainism

Oh my.....yesterday was awesome!

Titania has the best hook ups in Korea. She had a friend of a friend call her yesterday and ask if she wanted to go to a free concert with her at her university. They have been meaning to meet up for awhile, so this girl thought Titania might want to come to the school's 60th anniversary party. She wasn't really feeling it until she told us that Rain was going to be there and we freaked out!

Back story on Rain:
Born Jeong Ji-hoon in 1982. Know as λΉ„(Bi) or Rain in English. Hit the stage in 2002 with his debut album. He has also stared in some very popular Korean TV dramas. In 2007, Rain topped Time's open online poll. He beat Stephen Colbert by 100,000 votes; Colbert jokingly retaliated by producing a parody of Rain's music video for "Ways to Avoid the Sun" called "He's Singin' In Korean". Stephen Colbert has since challenged Rain to a dance-off "or a cuddle-off, or a spoon-off". On May 5, 2008, Rain appeared in a "surprise" guest segment at the end of The Colbert Report and proceeded to engage Stephen in a dance-off. It was hilarious. Also, I have a calendar with two years worth of pictures of him on my desk at school.

So, at first we didn't really believe what she was saying. How is it possible that 4 white girls are being welcomed to a free concert with arguably the biggest pop star in Korea? We were intrigued, excited and ready for disappointment at the same time. We ran out after school to try to get to this concert having no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

A 50 min train/bus ride got us to a really college campus, with tree lined streets and everything. It made me very nostalgic....the girl (crap, now I can't remember her name...) met up with us and said that her friends had saved us seats. We battled the crowd to an outdoor stadium where we sat on stone benches. The whole time we were walking there we were all debating if it was really crowded enough to be a Rain concert or not. I looked at the crowd and felt like it was just a typical Korean even crowd....I think that might be a sign that I've been here too long, because it was packed.

We were in our seats around 6:15 and there was plenty of entertainment for the rest of the night. The first act was the school's own dance students. They were doing a lot of ballroom dancing type things. It was like watching a very bad version of the show "So You Think You Can Dance", where people try their best to dance a style they just aren't meant to.... A band with a student singing. A countertenor sang and Italian art song, which sang along to at the time, but now I can't remember what it was... and some other singing acts that did a lot of what I call "ajama" (grandma) music. It sounds like Korean polka ballads. And then there was the pop music.

It turns out they had quite a few pop acts that I had heard, but I just didn't know what I was listening to before. It made it that much more exciting, because the crowd would go crazy, we would ask our hostess who it was, we wouldn't recognize the name but when the song started we got excited because we knew it. Four major groups preformed: After School, Son Dam Bi, Lee Hyori and Rain. They only did about two songs each, but it was AMAZING!!!! I have a really bad video footage here. I also highly recommend youtubing these wonderful k-pop entertainers. It was a totally surreal experience. Can you imagine ever having a completely free concert with Justine Timberlake, Beyonce and the Pussycat Dolls that just anyone could walk into? This would have never happened back home. When I asked why they had this concert and how they got these famous people to come she just said that since its the 60th anniversary of the school, so the school put it on. Beyond that, she did seem to think it was all that crazy that Rain and Lee Hyori just performed.

Sadly, our hosts had to go do something afterward, but since it was only 9 pm at the end of the concert we stopped to get a drink and some food in this fun new area we had to explore. We went to Dorthey's Diary, which had a Wizard of Oz theme. Each page of the menu had a title such as "Run Scared Lion" and "Tin Lumberjack". Yes.

And now I leave you with a quote from the T-shirt I bought walking back to the subway:
I am a great person in the world. Love myslef... Some on who loves you will love the others about sojunghame...

True story.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

GAH!

Two examples of the Korean way of business that drives me crazy!

#1: Last week I was told I would be getting a new child in my kindergarten class on Monday. At the end of the week I went to my supervisor to ask for new supplies for the kid. This prompted her to remember that the kid had been pulled out already due to some payment altercation that made the parents mad, so I did get things ready for him. On Monday morning I had a feeling that I might walk into class with a new student sitting there, so I checked with my supervisor just one more time. At this point a light bulb went off in her head and she said that "Oh, yes, he is starting school today." Sweet, way to let me know.

#2: During one of my 10 min breaks yesterday I was pulled into my principles office to all but sign a contract to stay another 6 months based on a conversation from over a month ago. They seemed put off by the fact that I still wanted to think about it and want to know ASAP. This is something I've been struggling with for the past month, and still not ready to make a decision.

Last minute and immediate. This is not the way I function....but at least I'm getting used to it and can see it coming.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

May 15, 2009: A day to go down in history

Event #1: Spring Picnic
We boarded all the little kindergartners onto countless Kid's College buses and headed over to the "boating stadium", which is basically a short man made river made for rowing races. We went there because the parents complained that Olympic Park was too close. The theme of this picnic was color wars. We got pretty into it. Ari looked like a red version of Braveheart. The kids had fun running around and just being outside. I would say it was one of the more successful events days I have witnessed so far. My favorite part, however, was when we got back and had 20 mins to kill in the class room. I just opened a box of toys and told the kids to just play. Sarah P and Eryn decided they were going to play teacher. They sat in a chair at the front of the room and had me sit in front of them. They then proceeded to pick words out of a bag and ask me "What letter is this?" and "What word is this?" Adorable little 4 year olds.

Event #2: Teacher's Day
I received a gift from 4 of 9 kindies, plus one from Kelly from my last Cherry Class. I'm going to count that as 50% and be happy with it. I got another two pair of stockings that I will likely never wear, one being nude colored with gold glittering roses on them. Yikes! A nice bottle of perfume, a Polo baseball hat, and bath salts were also in the mix. Too bad I don't have a bath tub or wear baseball hats. Oh well, the cream of the crop was certainly my gift from Kelly. Picture a fancy barbie doll in a display box wearing handbok. Not exactly my style, but I'll be taking that one home.

Event #3: Kyle's Graduation
I missed it, but it happened none the less. One more Johnson child is released into the real world. With this and the baby of the house turning 21 next month, I'm feeling pretty old....

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Tale of the Runaway Octopus: And other short stories of Busan

The first thing we did was go the fish market. Indoors and outdoors people filled the area with stands of creatures of the deep, some dead and some alive. My favorite part was a small tub of octopus in the middle of the walkway. We just happened to see one escape over the edge and start to make a run for it. Megan and I stood in awe / in the way of the man in charge of the little guy. He was very accommodating in that he did not yell or push us out of his way. He reached over to pick it up, and after a few tugs (the octopus was clinging to the pavement and tubs around him like his life depended on it) he gave us the added thrill of shoving the suction cup end of this creature in our faces. Naturally we both jumped back with a little scream. I realized that this was just his attempt to give us a good photo op. just a little too late. I got off one clumsy shot which shows the octopus being held up, but not the same view of the tentacles coming at me that will forever be burned into my mind. The other disappointing thing about it is that the man's face is cut off. It's a shame, because he went through this entire ordeal with the exact same look of total and utter boredom that I really wish I could have captured. We also eat some wonderful fried fish while we were there.

We also rode a cable car up a mountain, found some beautiful rocks to sit and read on, took the cable car down the mountain and rode a kiddie amusement ride on our way out of the park. We spent quite a lot of time deciding if it was worth making a spectacle of ourselves, and it was. We were the only people on the ride, and each time our cars passed the operator he gave us a push for a few extra spins. We were both pretty nauseous.

Headed to the beach to see what all the fuss was about. Watch the sunset and the sunrise out there. Not continuously though...the worst night of sleep I have ever had was sandwiched in between those two events. At least the insomnia / bad bed / noisy neighbors made it easy to get out on the beach at 5 am.

Spent the morning on the beach and then headed home after lunch in China town. I personally felt we conquered all that needed to be conquered in the 27 hours we were there.

Photos to be posted soon.

Oh, and Happy Children's Day / Cinco de Mayo! No school today so everyone can celebrate their children. I celebrated with a margarita and steak fajita for $30,ooo won at On the Board followed by an outdoor orchestra concert inside Deoksugung Palace walls. A lovely little day.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Happy Birthday Buddha!

Seoul city street view:

8:30 am- two men, in their 60's -ish, sitting at a picnic table in front of the Mini-Stop drinking cans of Cass beer

9:15 am- a temple greeting patrons in hanbok for a special Buddha Birthday service also had vendors set up outside selling trinks such as prayer beads, lanterns and one man selling cotton candy

A great start to this (hopefully) eventful 4 day weekend. It's all still up in the air right now.....

Monday, April 20, 2009

To America

Again, this isn't even from one of my students, but it's too good.

On Saturday, I read about Linkcon. I wondered no slavers in America now. When North America and South Ameriaca foughted 60 ten thousand people died. I hope North America and South America be a friend and be nice to each other. I hoped while reading about Linkcon, America do not fight now, and hope be a nice land. When America do no fight, America will be perfect land. Just look at face color and say we are different, that is wrong. Americans are same. You have to say, it's Americans if they are Americans. You can't just look at the face color. I hope America be a nice land now.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Jass

I finally got out to hear some live jazz this weekend. We wandered around Apujang in search of a specific club, but ended up at "Jass". It was wonderful. A small dark bar with a few tables, a quiet crowd and a quartet with sax and occasional vocals. I felt just like I was at home, until they did "Fly Me to the Moon" and all I heard the whole time was "fry me to the moon"....so close. They were really pretty great, and I really enjoyed the evening. I had pretzels for the first time in 7 months and it was amazing. To top it all off, a man named Mr. Magic sang a rendition of "Summer Time" the close. Most people I know would stand by the fact that this is a song that should really only be done by a black woman with a big voice, but as long as you had an open mind it had it's own musical value done at a peppy speed by a 30 something Korean man, if only hilarity. No matter. I went home feeling all warm and fuzzy and nostalgic. Ahhhh......

Monday, April 6, 2009

Fishing Boats and Cherry Blossoms

Thanks to the prompting by the lovely Kay Frew I went on a trip out of the city. First, I think it is important to document just how I came to know Kay.

When I first decided to go to Korea, my roommate Emily told me about this girl she had become friends with in Boston that was already there. So I friended Laura on facebook in order to make contact, ask questions and stalk her life in Korea. Low and behold she went to IU and was good friends with Annie Gill, whom I lived with in San Fransisco when we did a summer program together. I got a reference to live with Annie back then because she had lived with my good friend Margaret when they studied abroad together in Vienna. Laura informs me that she knows another girl who is planning on coming around the same time I am. She also knows Annie, as she too lived with her in Vienna. Enter Kay, who knows Annie, Laura and Margaret. Laura knows Annie, Kay and Emily. Margaret knows Annie, Kay and Emily. Annie knows Margaret, Kay and Laura. I know them all and they all know me...now. As Kay and I arrived, Laura was getting ready to go home. She was so busy that Kay and I decided to met up for a blind date since we just so happen to live about a 15 min bus ride from each other. During dinner we decided that I had met her in her apartment at IU when I was there with Margaret about 4 years ago. It's a small world after all.

Moving on. Kay and I took a tour with the Royal Asiatic Society, Korea Branch to see the cherry blossoms. I jumped at the chance to have get out of the city with no planning or responsibility on my part. We left early Saturday morning for our 5 hour road trip to the south coast of So Ko. First we went to the island of Namhae. We visited a few points of historical interest of course, but most of that information went in one ear and out the other. Sadly, I am not now (nor do I ever plan to be) an Asian history buff. It was wonderful to but out in the "country" though, driving along the coast. The highlight of the day had to be the ferry boat tour we took along the coast. It was a tri-leveled boat. The top being an open deck, the middle being enclosed with plenty of comfortable seating and big windows, and the bottom being two large dance floors. As we entered the boat the party was already bumping with about 50 ajahshes and ajahmas (old men and old women) in full on hiking gear. I felt like I was on a post-prom-party boat, except it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon and everyone partaking in the rowdiness was over 60. We checked a few times, and the party was raging the whole two hours. There were even three white Ukrainian women dancers that were hired to keep the party going. Basically they come out every once in awhile and danced around in basically their underwear. Seriously. Also, I became obsessed with taking pictures of fishing boats during this time.

We went to a beautiful temple up in the mountains next and then off to dinner at a restaurant on the beach where we had a wonderful feast which included the most amazing oyster concoction I've ever had. I'm not much for sea food, but they looked so good (and non-Korean foodesque) I had to try one. We later came to learn that the restaurant owner had learned how to make them from a French friend. The Koreans love their fusion....

We stayed in a nice Motel with Korean style accommodations (sleeping on a mat on the floor). At this point I'm so used to my hard bed that the floor was no different. Plus, we had a bathtub. Score!

It was another early morning to head over to Jinhae for the cherry blossom festival. I kept hearing about how Jinhae is just a small town of 200,000 with a Naval Base that hosts over a million people each year for the cherry blossom festival. It wasn't quite was I was expecting. In my mind I was thinking it would be like walking through an apple orchard, but with flowering trees. Not so much. I almost felt like I was at a street festival in Chicago, but all the streets were lined with cherry blossoms. It also was not as crowed as I had expected. I think I might be too used to Seoul.

Another exciting aspect of it was the "road trip" like experience we had on the bus. Mainly, I enjoyed stopping at rest stops, which are crazy! Of course. Everyone has restrooms, gas station, convince store, Korean cafeteria style food inside and bad for you "street" food outside. And of course vendors are set up in the parking lot to sell you all kinds of stuff. I really think the states need to pick up on this.

All in all it was a wonderful little weekend. It also marked my official joining of the "Twilight" train. I hadn't even heard of the book series until I got here and the movie hit theaters in November. A couple of girls in the office wanted to see it, so I went. Seems like since then everyone has been reading the books. I finally got my hands on the second book and read the whole thing on the trip. I would just like to state that it is ridiculous, and I loved it. I am a Jacob fan.

Pictures are up too...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Just a little update....

So the weather sure makes me feel like home around here. In the month of March I wore my flip flops one day and a winter coat and scarf the next. We even saw a little bit of snow.

So, I'm loving that the newbies are pushing me to get off my butt and get out. Suzie found a community theater group of expats and we went and did a "24 hour theater" with them. I had so much fun I went back the next weekend and auditioned for their up coming show just for fun.

We also discovered a hiking group and had high hopes of joining them on a trip outside of the city for a 7 hour hike to the beach. Sadly we were all geared up and ready to go Saturday morning, but at the wrong station. Wahwah. I ended up leading the pack to Buckhansan and we still did a 7 hour hike. It was amazing.

Sarah K has finally had her first cry free day as of week 5 of school. She is now all smiles all the time. Go figure. I also got a new girl, Olivia. She seems like a smart one. It should be all good.

The on set of Spring is bring some fun and exciting things coming up. More soon I'm sure.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Ah, the Irish....

Had myself a nice little St. Patrick's Day. We had a green day at school talking about clovers and leprechauns. The school day culminated with a dance party in the gym with the entire student body. These are always ridiculously unorganized and awkward, but since I have the smallest kids my class gets the best seat. We were right up front and my kids ended up dancing on the stage most of the time. They loved it and I loved watching it. Claire is all about the dancing and would jump up on stage by herself for everyone and bowed when the song ended. Sunny broke out some break dancing moves on the floor and I about peed my pants. Sarah K is still crying, but she had a great time too. All my kids really are adorable.

Post work I went with Megan to further explore and new neighborhood in the beautiful weather we've got going on finally. We have been trying to break out of our comfort zone that we have built up over the winter. Included in this is the embracing of Korean style clothing. I bought a 4 piece outfit for 20,000 won tonight which includes leggings, short skirt, tanks top and over sized hooded t-shirt. I'm not going to be able to recognize my wardrobe by the time I leave here. A quite walk turned into discovering an Irish pub, which turned into a beer with Megan, Maranda and Megan's friend Chris from Chicago and his co-workers including two actual Irish peps. In short, a successful day. No, I did not have a Guinness tonight, but only because it would have been 15,000 won. I don't like Guinness that much.

And now I leave you with my favorite rendition of a leprechaun done by Warrick. Enjoy.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Those Crazy Canadians

I've been meaning to document some of the Canadian cultural discoveries that have blown me away. My passion was recently reignited, and you will see why below. Here is a short list of the things that still get me.

1. Poutine: a dish consisting of French fries topped with fresh cheese curds, covered with brown gravy and sometimes additional ingredients. It is a quintessential Canadian comfort food, especially in Quebec. I had never heard of it before. It now comes up in conversation at least once week.

2. Pie Assassins of Canada: instead of shooting politicians they are pissed at, they pie them. And it's no joke.


3. Kraft Dinner: One of the first major differences that struck me to my core was the fact that Canadians called macaronni and cheese "Kraft Dinner" or "KD". This craked me up. I simply thought that they had made up a nickname based on the brand that had spread country wide, while still picturing the blue box with "Macaronni and Cheese" in big yellow letters. Just this week I had my mind blown again when one of the newbies got a care package from home including Kraft Dinner, and she pulled out a box that looked like this:

WHAT!?!?


Oh, and Happy White Day! The 14th of every month is a love holiday in Korea, but only February, March and April are really talked about. On V-day girls gave boys chocolate. White is the time for boys to pay up. I'm not profiting form this in anyway of course, but luckily it's pretty much over shadowed by impending St. Patrick's Day and the extended celebration around here in the ex-pat community. It all just reminds me that I missed the South Side Irish festivities last year because I was in class to get certified to come here. Can't believe that was just a year ago...my, how times have changed.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

"Obma" by Robin

Here is an essay about a famous person done by one of our 9 year old students. He isn't even one of my kids, but this is just too good. Apparently Obama wasn't on the list of recommended of people, but Robin really wanted to write about our president. The following is a word for word, letter for letter transcription.

Hello, my name is Robin. I will tell you about Obma. He is alive.

Obma is very famous in United States because he is a first president. Everyone loved him. He was good at speeking. When he speeks, everyone was proud of him. When he was baby he speeked very good. When he visited Africa. He wanted to help people. He was the first black person in the United States.

When I see a Obma I will clap the hands.

I want to be a Obma.

I think Obma will help the people today.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Warrick

That's my new kid's name. I was worried at first since he came to first class with his mom and wouldn't let go of her leg to come into the classroom. They disappeared for the rest of the class, but he was there by second class and did just fine. Thank God. I can't handle another crier. Oh, Sarah K....

Sunday, March 8, 2009

shopping splurg

I finally broke down and bought my very first ipod this weekend. It's purely a work purchase. I've been thinking about getting one since I arrived here, but was debating too much one which one to get. I finally decided to just go with pure function. Walked up to the the apple counter in Techno Mart and asked for a ipod classic. I got a black classic with a charger and case for 350,000 won = $225 U.S. right now. I am personally pretty excited to have a 120GB (I know, way more space then I will ever need) with Hangul engraved on the back.

Pics of the new kids and classroom are up. I'm in love with them already of course. =)
Many new decorations in the room are contributed by my wonderful teacher college roommates Dom and Steph. Thanks ladies! Everyone says the room looks great thanks to you guys.

Monday, March 2, 2009

6 months!

Wow.

I have been anticipating this day since I got here. March marks the start of a new school year, bringing new students, new class curriculum, a new classroom and 6 new co-workers along with the lose of 4 vets. Kyle and Krystle have run off to India together, Heather is going back to school in Canada and Breanne is back in the states to hang out until she goes off to San Fran for school in the fall. Work was so surreal today. Everything just keeps pushing forward without too much fanfare at work. I think the turnover still hasn't really sunk in. It was really bizarre to be one of the go-to people for all the newbie question. I'm trying my best to do Kyle and Krystal proud because I really feel like they were kind of my mentors. It help that all the newbies are pretty cool and I genuinely want to get to know them and help them out. I should elaborate on all of them now, because it will hilarious to look back at my first impressions of them later, but I just don't have the energy now.

First day of class was relatively successful. Since I was going in expecting a total stressful disaster of a day the issues that did arise didn't seem too bad. One girl cried so much I had to carry her on my hip for the last 10 mins of class right before lunch. By the end of lunch she was sleep in the helper teacher's room and her grandfather came to pick her up. He ended up sitting in the classroom with her on his lap the rest of the day. Then I had a little boy next to him fall alseep. No biggy really.

Pictures to follow soon.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Highly Inappropriate

And I mean that...if you have delicate nature or are easily offended you may want to stop reading, but this is just too good not to share.

Long story short, our boss took us to a strip club tonight. It's not as bad as it sounds, but that is the gist of the situation.

We had our big going away dinner for the 4 English staff members that are leaving at the end of next week. Dinners almost always lead to a noraebong (private karaoke rooms), except this time our principle took us to more of a club with one stage in a large room. I felt like I was walking into a strip club in Vegas in the 60's with the weird lighting and big chairs around many different mini-bars. I thought I was about to sit down and play black jack while watching a show. There was rumors of the possibility of nude dancing going down as we entered the place, but most of the night's entertainment was just the patrons getting up to sing their selected songs. Then there was one break from the amateur hour in which a young woman came out in traditional handbok and a drum and did a traditional dance (as far as I could tell). One thing that should be made clear is that I was there with all my co-workers: 11 English teachers (only 2 males) and 7 Korean staff, all women, half of which don't really speak English. So as this girl comes out there is a lot of whispering around the table, and the Korean woman are nudging us and pretending to take of their coats as a sign of what's to come. We were all just kind of sitting around waiting to see if this was really going to happen or not. It did. Not too big of a deal really. Our table was in the back of the room, so we didn't really see much of "the show". Some of the people in our group left without ever knowing there was a girl dancing topless for a brief moment. But it was especially entertaining watching the Korean staff, because they were just as uncomfortable and confused by the situation as we were. I don't get my boss (a Korean woman in her 60). Is she just trying to seem cool? I'm not even going to pretend to be able to figure out the logic here, I'm just happy I can now say "I've had my boss take me to a strip club", because that's priceless.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Squatters Responce: A little perspective

I have to share the email I received from my great uncle:

Your blog

Your greatgrandmother Mary Gorman Rossillon taught in a one room school when she was 16 years old!! She shared a 2 hole outdoor toilet with 20 boys and girls!! In the winter with snow on the ground no-one went!! In the summer there was no supervision if she left the room!! She said she waited until the weekend!! She was constipated her whole life!!
Uncle John

That is completely unedited....
Thanks for the reality check Uncle John! =)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Squatters

It is high time I explained the bathroom situation around here.

1. I've mentioned this before, but just in case you have forgotten, in my apartment my shower takes up my whole bathroom. This is an asian thing apparently.

2. Our current work bathroom situation is that we share with all the students that have newly moved upstairs. Currently this means only 24 5-6 year olds, but as of March 2 it will be 60 4-6 year olds. The only time we will have to use our bathroom is the same time the kids are in there washing their hands. Not looking forward to that. I feel worse for the boys though. Sharing urinals with those little guys will most certainly be awkward...especially with the female Korean helper teachers in and out of there all the time.

3. Free public bathrooms are relatively plentiful, but you often have to provide your own TP. Accordingly, small travel sized TP packets are easy to buy, like travel size Kleenex at home.

4. If a restaurant is just part of a much larger building they won't have their own bathroom. You'll have to leave the restaurant and walk down a hallway. Again, this bathroom won't have TP, but the restaurant will have a roll sitting by the door before you leave.

5. You aren't supposed to flush the TP. It has to do with trying to be easy on the septic system. Instead there is just a trash can overflowing with used TP next to the toilet. Not my favorite aspect of the whole situation.

6. The classier restrooms have a button in the stall labeled "etiquette button" in english. Depending on where you are, when pushed it will emit a loud and long flushing sound or birds singing in order to "politely" cover any unpleasant digestive distress you may be having. Amazing.

*warning: this one gets ever so slightly graphic
7. Many public bathrooms have what we lovingly call "squatters", also an asian thing. It looks like a urinal laying flat on the ground. I'm sad to admit that it took my a couple of months to truly master these little guys. I was trying to do more of a hovering wall sit, when really you just want to get right in there and get down like a baseball catcher. This little tutorial (and it was a tutorial) changed my view of this phenomenon totally. It's quite nice to be comfortably not be touching anything and flush with your foot. I highly recommend it.
This sign is from our China trip. If I had seen this picture earlier I may have caught on a little bit faster....